Book Review: Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family

Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family: Avoiding the 6 Dysfunctional Parenting Styles (David C. Cook, January 2015)

We all want to guide our children into the abundant life that Jesus offers. But when we pursue the more and better that the world offers above our pursuit of Jesus, we fall into dangerous parenting habits. InBecoming a Spiritually Healthy Family, Michelle Anthony unpacks six common dysfunctional parenting styles that we fall into out of habit, lack of attention, or just oversight due to busyness. If you long to show your children Jesus but don’t know how to do it, you’ll find hope in this practical guide to creating a relentlessly grace-filled home that is focused on God as first in charge.

Includes Scripture guides, reflection questions, ideas for family rites of passage, and other real life family examples.

My Review: 

Don't we all want to be a spiritually healthy family?  I don't know anyone who would say no to that!  The subtitle of this book is "Avoiding the 6 Dysfunctional Parenting Styles".  Ummm... yes please to that also!  This book was a wonderful read and is such a welcome addition to our family's book resources.  I love when "family help" books offer practical advice, wisdom and examples.  This book is all about being the example as a leader in your family.  It encourages and inspires you to build your relationship with God so you can be that example.  I highly recommend this book as a great read and also a great addition to your family "tool" books.

I received this book for free in exchange for my honest opinion.

Book Review: Just One More Thing Before You Leave Home

About the book: This is the book we wish our parents gave us.
Just One More Thing: Before You Leave Home is a packed guide to help young adults enter life on their own. In the book, the Gudgels use stories, perspectives, and dialogues to discuss 30 indispensable topics to help teens survive, including: worldview, financial challenges, use of time, career moves, moral dilemmas, sex, painful experiences, and spiritual life, among others. Written from a Biblical perspective, the book is more of a guide to making good decisions than a lecture on how to live., It's perfect for a parent and teen to go over together or to give as a thoughtful gift. This is a book they'll reference for years to come.

Purchase a copy: http://ow.ly/qb47U

Meet the authors: Dave & Bernice Gudgel are committed to walking intentionally with God and helping others do the same. Bernice has a degree in Psychology and has focused her adult life on raising three kids and leading various ministries in the church where people can connect with God and each other. Dave is a pastor and teaches for Walk Thru the Bible.

Learn more at: http://davidandbernice.com

 

My Review:

I really enjoyed reading this book.  There are 30 topics that we, as parents, need to go over many times with our children, especially before they leave the nest.  I love books that are reference-types, like this one.  My children are far from the age of leaving home, but having this book now will help me talk about these issues for years before they leave.  I really appreciate being able to go to this book for tips, ideas and reminders on what to talk about and how to talk about those issues.  This is a great book for all parents to keep on the book shelf!

 

 

I received this book for free in exchange for my honest opinion.

She's Here!!

There's so much to say and soon I will but for now:

Rylee Nicole came wed night the 7th a little after 11pm VBAC!!! She was teeny tiny weighing 7lbs 3oz and was 19 inches long. She is totally perfect and I'm overwhelmed with love and gratitude to God. Thanks for all your prayers!

Book Review & Video: Lead Your Family Like Jesus

More about Lead Your Family Like Jesus:

Powerful Parenting Principles from the Creator of Families

(Focus on the Family/Tyndale) - Does your family need a five-star general at the helm? A psychologist? A referee? Ken Blanchard, best-selling co-author of The One Minute Manager and Lead Like Jesus, points to a better role model: the Son of God. Joined by veteran parents and authors Phil Hodges and Tricia Goyer, renowned business mentor Blanchard shows how every family member benefits when parents take the reins as servant-leaders. Moms and dads will see themselves in a whole new light-as life-changers who get their example, strength, and joy from following Jesus at home. This user-friendly book's practical principles and personal stories mark the path to a truly Christ-centered family, where integrity, love, grace, self-sacrifice, and forgiveness make all the difference.

Link to buy the book: http://ow.ly/jizhQ

Meet the Authors:

Tricia:

 Bestselling author of more than 30 novels, nine nonfiction books, and more than three hundred articles for national publications; 2003 "Writer of the Year" at the Mount Hermon Christian Writer's Conference; popular blog writer, speaker, and radio host

Learn more about Tricia at www.triciagoyer.com.

Ken:

Leadership expert and author of over 50 books, including the New York Times bestseller, The One-Minute Manager; cofounder of Lead Like Jesus; and coauthor of Lead Like Jesus; Lessons from the Greatest Leadership Role Model of All Time

Learn more about Ken at www.kenblanchard.com

Phil:

A human resource and industrial relations manager in corporate America for 36 years with Xerox Corporation and U.S. Steel, co- founder of Lead Like Jesus; co-author of five books, including The Servant Leader and Leadership by the Book with Bill Hybels.

 

Learn more about Phil at www.leadlikejesus.com

My Review:

Who doesn't want to lead their family like Jesus would?  I know that we do, as parents.  I loved this book!  And look at the authors!!  They are definitely leaders and people who I can learn alot from.  Of course, there were bigger issues that the book dealt with, but I think my favorite parts were when they discussed the little issues, that turn into big issues.  I really learned alot from this book and plan to read it over several more times.  It is definitely a great book for every single parent to read, whether you are Christian or not.  Every idea is great for every parent and does not all have to be taken from a religious point of view.  Excellent book for every parent!

 

 

I received this book for free in exchange for my honest opinion.

Book Review: The Christian Mama's Guide to Baby's First Year

 

From the back cover:

The Christian Mama's Guide to Baby's First Year has the advice you want to hear (and some you probably don't).  Inside you'll also find:

-Suggestion on how to get into the motherhood groove

-Breast-feeding advice

-Tips for losing the baby weight-before your baby is no longer a baby

-Time management ideas... get the laundry done before you run out of clean underwear

-Guidance on being a godly mother and good wife on less than three hours of sleep a night

 

 

My Review:

I absolutely loved this book!  I really look forward to owning the other ones, which include Having a Baby, Having a Toddler and the Gradeschool Years.  Why a Christian mama's guide?  I love that Erin addresses why this book is for Christian mamas.  She says it is because we also deal with the trials and successes of wanting our family to be the way God intended it to be.  We want our families, above all else, to become more and more Christ-like.  Of course, our bodies are similar and our lives change in the same ways as non-Christians during a baby's first year, but why not get the info and help from a sister in Christ?  This book is so much more uplifting, inspiring and helpful because of the Christian background it has.

I definitely recommend this book to every mama with a little one already or a little one on the way!

 

I received this book for free in exchange for my honest opinions.

Brothers and Sisters Closest Thing to Marriage Experience

The other day on the radio I heard a man say that the relationship between siblings is the closest thing to the relationship between a husband and a wife.

 

I loved that and had never thought of that before. 

 

He said they share a sink in the morning when they might feel like punching them.  I am completely paraphrasing.  :)  But the example that you learn to get along with someone that you live with every single day really made sense to me. 

 

You learn to share your space, your time, your belongings.

 

You learn to get along and deal with issues or else you realize you will be stuck being miserable.

 

You learn to talk and express yourself with someone who most likely does not see things the way you do. 

 

You learn to depend on eachother, ask for help and offer help. 

 

You learn to forgive and ask for forgiveness. 

 

What valuable skills for marriage!  All of those are so neccessary for a strong, healthy relationship. 

 

I also think that these things are true and that you get a great learning period with same gender siblings, but definitely boys learning better to understand girls and vice versa definitely is a plus! 

 

 

Had you ever thought of the sibling relationship like this? 

Book Review: Upside-Down Prayers for Parents

 

 

This book is terrific!  I absolutely recommend it to all parents!  I am not a very good pray-er.  I often feel like God already knows what I need/want and I want His will to be done anyway.  This book hits 31 different "upside-down" prayers that we should be praying for our children.

Examples:

-I pray you'll get caught doing things wrong-and experience the power of confession.

-I pray you'll have to wait-and learn the value of patience.

-I pray you'll fail in things that don't matter-and learn what matters to God.

-I pray you'll have to forgive someone who doesn't deserve it-and find the peace that forgiveness brings.

 

The chapters start with Bible verses and at the end of the short devotion there are "Making it Personal" and "Making it Relevant" sections.  I really enjoy the reflections all of this allows. 

 

Yes, some of the prayers and desires seem harsh like the prayers for suffering a loss, losing a job, brushing up against death, and being shattered, but the ultimate goal is for our children to experience these things so he can learn such valuable lessons for getting closer to God.  Sometimes we can only experience an intimacy with God that is brought on by one of our extreme challenges.

 

I love this book!

 

I received this book for free in exchange for my honest opinion.

Book Review: Hot Buttons-Internet, Dating, Drugs, S*xuality

Nicole O'Dell helps address the Hot Buttons in teens' lives before the issues become problems

From dating to drugs, modesty to purity, morals to popularity, teens face all sorts of tough issues. How teens respond to these hot-button issues can have lasting effects on who they want to be and who they actually become. What if parents can help their teens prepare for these hot buttons-before the issues become a problem?

The uniquely packaged Hot Buttons Series is an accessible, quick-reference resource that parents can use to equip their children to make the right decisions, even in the face of peer pressure and outside influences. More than just another how-to manual, Hot Button Dating Edition offers practical real-life situations that parents can read and discuss with their preteens. Topics include: physical activity, missionary dating, and violence/abuse in dating relationships.

Author, mom, and broadcaster, Nicole O'Dell provides short scenarios followed by three or four responses that a teen might choose in that particular situation. Parents are then encouraged to help their children explore the issue, ask questions, and discuss the options, so when a similar situation comes up in real life, the teens are already prepared to respond.

Hot Buttons Dating Edition offers practical real-life situations that parents can read and discuss with their preteens. Topics include: physical activity, missionary dating, and violence/abuse in dating relationships.

Hot Buttons Internet Edition helps parents prepare their teens for online challenges they may face. Topics discussed include: internet activity, file sharing, social networking, and internet predators.

Hot Buttons Drug Edition braves the scary world of substance abuse, equipping parents with facts, warning signs, and real-world scenarios on: alcohol; Marijuana and other drugs; inhalants; and prescription drugs.

Hot Buttons S*xuality Edition offers the facts about teen sexuality, backed by statistics; specifics for how to talk frankly about s*x with your kids, discussion about the growth of homos*xuality and bis*xuality among teens; and compassionate advice for guiding your teen to reclaim purity.

Link to buy books: http://ow.ly/esojj ;

  

 

 

Meet Nicole:
Youth-culture expert, Nicole O'Dell is the host of Choose NOW Radio: Parent Talk and Teen Talk and the founder of Choose NOW Ministries, dedicated to guiding teens through tough issues and helping parents encourage good decisions.

On air, O'Dell covers peer pressure, dating, purity, drugs, alcohol, modesty, popularity, and anything else that comes up along the way. Nicole writes and speaks to preteens, teenagers, and parents about how to prepare for life's tough choices.
As an author, O'Dell writes both fiction and nonfiction. Her popular YA fiction includes the Diamond Estate Series and the Scenarios for Girls interactive books that feature alternate endings, allowing young girls to decide the outcome for the main character. Her nonfiction for teens includes Girl Talk, which she wrote with her two daughters based on their popular advice column.

While her YA resources encourage and equip teens, Nicole also works to bridge the communication gap between teens and their parents. The Hot Buttons series helps parents discuss tough issues with their tweens and teens before the issues pop up in real life. Watch for future Hot Buttons books on subjects like bullying, image, prejudice, friendships, politics, and more.
O'Dell, resides in Paxton, IL, with her husband and six children-the youngest of whom are toddler triplets.

Find out more about Nicole at http://nicoleodell.com.

 

 

My Review:

These books will definitely be something that I treasure and use for years and years to come.  Nicole gives little up-front answers from her own opinions, but when she does it is short and sweet the way I like it.  She does give answer after answer from what she has found Biblically in the form of an answer.  I love this!  These are not just another set of parenting books.  These are invaluable for the Christian home.  The end of the books have sections where you can talk with your child/teen/tween about different scenarios.  I love this, also.  I feel like these books are not written to judge or give us, as parents, more impossible goals to live up to.  I feel like they are written to inspire, inform and equip us with the knowledge and tools, with Biblical backing, to teach and guide our children in the right ways to live.  

 

I definitely recommend these books to every parent!

 

 

 

I received these books in exchange for my honest opinion.   

Constant Belief Teaching & Santorum News

My husband's uncle and I are friends on Facebook.  We don't really talk, but sometimes I comment on a post he made and vice versa.  He, surprisingly, is a very, very strong supporter of Democrats and Obama.  I am not.  At all.  I really, really wanted Santorum to not only win the Republican nomination, but to also sweep Obama off his feet!!

So today, my husband's uncle posted more super negative, ignorant posts about Republicans, Santorum and God.  I read these from him all of the time and honestly think that he can have his opinions and obviously they are not mine, but whatever.  Today, I just couldn't leave it alone.  It felt wrong for me to sit and read these things (it was really the God comments that got to me) and not respond.  So I did.  And it turned into a little bit of a war between me and several other unbelievably crazy ignorant people that he is friends with.  I didn't want it to and eventually dropped most of my points, but what shocked me was what one man said (by the way, not one person agreed with me, lol). 

This man said that he was sure my parents forced their beliefs on me.  He said that he would never force his beliefs on his children and was happy that Mike's uncle wasn't either.   

My response (most of it): "My parents actually did not influence me very much religiously. My mom raised us catholic, but was married to an atheist and my bio-father is really not much of anything. But I do think that it is COMPLETE BS (side note: I cannot believe I said this!  I never say this word and never even say BS) to say that you wont influence your children to believe anything!! You teach your child beliefs. All day, every day. Your beliefs and my beliefs are obviously different. Hopefully you have some of the same beliefs like 1+1=2, that you spell cat c-a-t, and that slapping people in the face for no reason is wrong. those are beliefs and I hope your children are learning them. My beliefs as a Christian are my beliefs. If my daughter wants to grow up and think you spell cat c-o-t, whatever. She is allowed to believe that, even it is wrong, just like you can believe what you want to believe even if it is wrong."

I just cannot believe that someone would think that they are not basically shoving their beliefs down their child's throat every single day, whether for good or bad.  Whether you believe in God or not, whether you believe being gay is right or wrong, whether you are gay or straight, whether you believe Jesus is your savior or you believe in Budha, whether you think public schools are best or homeschooling is best for your family, whether you believe that war can be justified or you are a complete passifist.  We all put our beliefs on our children and to say that we will not push our religious beliefs on our children is 1) wrong, because even in your lacking of influence you are influencing and 2) lazy- my husband and I don't always have the answers, but we try to find them or work around it.  Not having all the answers forces me to learn more, just like with homeschooling.  It would be so much easier to just "ignore" things and not try to educate our daughter, but that doesn't make it the right or best thing. 

In a later comment, I also said, "in the end, hopefully, you are an open-minded and loving enough parent to be ok with their decisions to believe what they want, but, it is ridiculous to say that you dont raise your children with your beliefs."

I am not one to get into arguments or debates... I hate confrontation, but I also hate when people speak about things they don't really know.  The preggo hormones might have had a little something to do with me finally speaking my peice also... I've kind of been in the need of a good debate/fight and better to not start one with my husband :)

What do you think??  Do you try to stay neutral in topics like religion with your kids or do you "force" your beliefs on your children?

Discipline and Obedience

We all know that most children behave the worst for their parents.  They do more talking back, rolling of eyes, arguing, throwing fits, etc.  So when there are poorly behaved children in your care don't you wonder how much worse they must be with their parents?  

What brought this post on?

One of the most frustrating things for me is being around parents who do not discipline and/or children who have no discipline or expectations to obey.  (Along the same line of frustration is parents who are wayyy too hard on their children.)

Why so frustrating?

1) Because if my daughter is around to see this, we come off as the too strict parents and I feel like I have to explain why we have rules, etc.  Do I care that my daughter might think I am too strict?  Honestly, yes.  I know that she knows that we have many more expectations of her than some of the other families we know.  That does not mean that I want her to think that we are being more strict just for our pleasure.  I want her to see that undisciplined and disobedient children are not fun to be around.  They aren't.  At all.  I also want her to see that in our family you get absolutely no privileges or pleasure out of behaving in those ways.

2) Because I know how most of those children will grow up if the same expectations are held of them.  Self-entitled.  Disobedient.  Bossy.  Disrespectful.  Etc.  Etc.  Etc. 

3) Maybe this one should be #1.  This one is a little harder to explain.... I guess I understand why non-Christian families might not discipline.  There is that whole "happiness" thing.  Do you know what I mean?  That whole idea that the goal is to be happy.  For our children to be happy.  For everyone to live in their little happy bubbles no matter the consequences.  If that is your primary goal, then sure do whatever you want!  Now, do I want my children to be happy?  Do I want to be happy?  Do I want everyone around me to be happy?  Of course!!  But even more than that, I want my children to be disciplined and obedient.  Why?  Because, I believe, in the long run that will give them more happiness and a greater ability to have joy, which is so much better than happiness. 

So when I see Christian families who have no form of discipline at all and expect no obedience at all it really confuses me.  It seems like I know more non-disciplining Christians than I know who do expect obedience.  This also makes such a bad witness to non-believers.  Discipline and obedience are such godly characteristics.  I believe that behind teaching and encouraging our children to love God and others, discipline and obedience are the #1 things we are to teach.  Here are some verses:

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Proverbs 22:6 

"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid."

Proverbs 12:1

"Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?"

Hebrews 12:9

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

Hebrews 12:11 

Our daughter is not perfect and I wish I would have focused more on the word "obey" much earlier.  She does throw fits and does not always obey without grumbling as soon as I tell her to do something.  We are working on those things.  Will she ever obey perfectly?  I doubt it, but if we could get to 99% I'd be overjoyed about that!  It is so much easier to give in and "go with the flow" and focus on the child's "happiness", but we can't.  The Bible also tells us parents to "not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Eph 6:4).  I might be way off but I think that verse is about us setting boundaries and rules so that our children are not frustrated and angered.  Children like rules.  They feel more safe and secure with boundaries.  We are told to set them.  

I would love to set the world on fire with our (Christian) obedient, joyful, loving, enjoyable and fun (of course) children.  What an example and witness we would be!