Monday, February 18, 2013

Words That Make Me Cringe

I really am not offended easily.  Many times I am offended by the little things people say, the things they do or the way they are doing them, but big things do not offend me as easily.  Weird, I know. 
 
I use the word inappropriate alot.  :)  And it seems to catch on with Kassidy.  I love hearing her say that something is inappropriate.  I wish I better instilled more things as inappropriate.
 
We went to the movies the other day for a Valentine's treat and walking out I heard a group of young preteen girls saying:
 
1) Retarded: I have always felt like this word is just awful when not used with mentally, as in mentally retarded, for literal descriptive purposes.  So many people throw the word around and don't seem to quite understand the power of it.  People use the word to mean stupid or dumb, but yet that is not at all what being mentally retarded (handicapped, disabled, etc) means nor should stupid or dumb ever be used to describe a mentally handicapped person.  The mentally handicapped I have known have always been filled with a different spirit... a special spirit from God.  They may not be "smart" but they are not stupid. 
 
After we found out that our little Paisley had Trisomy 18, the insult or joke became even more serious for me.  It is as if someone is saying, "You are so stupid.  You are so Paisley."  Thinking about it actually brings tears to my eyes.  How hurtful.  She is our special, dearly loved and extremely missed daughter.  Is that taking it too personally?  Probably and I really just want to inform the user of the word that "retarded" people are special, loved, and wonderfully made people and to use the word any other way is insulting and hurtful.  It is a word that I wish people learned to use properly.   
 
2) Gay: Ditto for above.  Even if I believe that being gay is a choice and a sin, the sinner is still a person who deserves to treated politely.  It's just another ridiculous, hurtful, ignorant thing to say.
 
3) Shut Up: I have never liked the phrase shut up.  To me it is an indirect way of saying, "You are not worth my time.  What you have to say is completely pointless and really you are just a waste of my time."  One of my sisters used to say this jokingly (and sometimes not so jokingly) and I would tell her how much I do not want to be told to shut up.  I told her how it offended me and it definitely would not ever be said to my daughter without me throwing a huge fit about it.  She did not understand and thought I was taking it wayyy too personally.  A few months after our last discussion about it she had someone else in our family tell her, very seriously, to shut up.  It was at a time of enjoyment and talking would have been a fun thing, except this person did not want to hear from her at all.  My sister told me afterward that it was the first time she realized how hurtful the phrase is and she could completely understand why I had always taken such offense at it.
 
4) God's name in vain: Growing up, I was always taught we never say God's name in vain.  Ever.  And besides for maybe a week period of "rebelling" in my preteen years I never have used God's name in vain.  I never quite understood why though until a couple years ago when I heard on the radio the reason: Would you want your name to be used as a curse?  The examples (like the Paisley one above) sound ridiculous, but if you get over that you will get the point. 
                    "Sara dam*it!!"
                    "Oh my Jane!!"
                    "Jesse Christopher!!"
The other examples get worse and worse.  There is anger, frustration, hate and resentment in most of those uses.  Is that when you would like your name to be used?  God is anything but those things.  He is love, patience, kindness and the empitome of self-control.  If anyone deserves to have their name only used for glorifying it is Him. 


What are some words that make you cringe? 



Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Book Review: One Month to Love

One Month to Love: Thirty Days to Grow and Deepen Your Closest Relationships
Description:
Improve your most important relationships—starting today.
At the end of the day in this all-too-short life, what matters most is relationships. Spouse, parent, child, friend—whoever your closest loved ones are, they warrant more than a passing glance; they deserve an intentional and meaningful relationship with you.

The One Month to Love thirty-day challenge is the greatest adventure you’ll ever take, helping you deepen the important relationships in your life. Authors Kerry and Chris Shook use timeless, biblical wisdom to walk through three stages of relationships: First Glance, Second Look, and Lasting Love. Many of us have launched into the exciting First Glance phase. When we then tiptoe into the Second Look, reality sets in, and often friendships weaken, families suffer, marriages crack. Now learn how to experience the deep, satisfying lifelong relationships of lasting love.

All it takes is one chapter a day.


My Review:
I love that this book is not just designed for your marriage or your relationship with your children.  It is designed to help you improve any relationship.  The chapters are packed with great ideas, tips, stories and quotes to help you "deepen your closest relationships".  The book seems to help you address issues that can come up within all kinds of relationships, which is really helpful. 
I definitely recommend this book to everyone who has a desire to strengthen their relationships.  It does not have to be a specific, intentional "fix".  This book is a great read for also just equipping you to better understand issues and situations when they do arise. 
 
I received this book for free in exchange for my honest opinion.

Book Review: The Respect Dare

 
Description:
“A long and happy marriage.” It sounds like the end of a fairy tale—an illusion that modern times have exposed.
And it is, if marriage depends on a constant stream of romantic emotion, or even on copious amounts of time or money. Thank the Lord, none of those are necessary. Two thousand years ago, Paul gave women the key to a successful marriage, and it can be summed up in two words: unconditional respect. It’s not popular. It doesn’t sound fair. It can be hard to imagine.
But it works.
Nina Roesner has led countless women through this practical and life-changing journey, and in The Respect Dare she offers you the hope that so many others have found. Day by day, true stories and thought-provoking questions will help you apply biblical wisdom to the most important relationship in your life.
Give it forty days. Experience the intimacy God intended and discover what he can do in your heart and in your marriage when you choose to show respect his way.
 
My Review:
This book is a play off The Love Dare book, but I really loved this one.  I love the other one also, but this one is really great for us who already do love our husbands but could use some encouragement in placing them as the head of the house always.  I did not use the book in its 40 day set up, but when I did read it, I did follow through with some of the dares.  I will definitely start this up and spend each of the 40 days learning to better respect my husband. 
I highly recommend this book to all wives and soon to be wives.
 
 
I received this book for free from BookSneeze in exchange for my honest opinions. 

Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Grooming Process of Hitler

“I am a witness to history.

“I cannot tell you that Hitler took Austria by tanks and guns; it would distort history.

If you remember the plot of the Sound of Music, the Von Trapp family escaped over the Alps rather than submit to the Nazis. Kitty wasn’t so lucky. Her family chose to stay in her native Austria. She was 10 years old, but bright and aware. And she was watching.

“We elected him by a landslide – 98 percent of the vote,” she recalls.

She wasn’t old enough to vote in 1938 – approaching her 11th birthday. But she remembers.

“Everyone thinks that Hitler just rolled in with his tanks and took Austria by force.”

No so.

Hitler is welcomed to Austria

“In 1938, Austria was in deep Depression. Nearly one-third of our workforce was unemployed. We had 25 percent inflation and 25 percent bank loan interest rates.

Farmers and business people were declaring bankruptcy daily. Young people were going from house to house begging for food. Not that they didn’t want to work; there simply weren’t any jobs.

“My mother was a Christian woman and believed in helping people in need. Every day we cooked a big kettle of soup and baked bread to feed those poor, hungry people – about 30 daily.’

“We looked to our neighbor on the north, Germany, where Hitler had been in power since 1933.” she recalls. “We had been told that they didn’t have unemployment or crime, and they had a high standard of living.

“Nothing was ever said about persecution of any group – Jewish or otherwise. We were led to believe that everyone in Germany was happy. We wanted the same way of life in Austria. We were promised that a vote for Hitler would mean the end of unemployment and help for the family. Hitler also said that businesses would be assisted, and farmers would get their farms back.

“Ninety-eight percent of the population voted to annex Austria to Germany and have Hitler for our ruler.

“We were overjoyed,” remembers Kitty, “and for three days we danced in the streets and had candlelight parades. The new government opened up big field kitchens and
everyone was fed.

“After the election, German officials were appointed, and, like a miracle, we suddenly had law and order. Three or four weeks later, everyone was employed. The government made sure that a lot of work was created through the Public Work Service.

“Hitler decided we should have equal rights for women. Before this, it was a custom that married Austrian women did not work outside the home. An able-bodied husband would be looked down on if he couldn’t support his family. Many women in the teaching profession were elated that they could retain the jobs they previously had been re- quired to give up for marriage.

“Then we lost religious education for kids

“Our education was nationalized. I attended a very good public school.. The population was predominantly Catholic, so we had religion in our schools. The day we elected Hitler (March 13, 1938), I walked into my schoolroom to find the crucifix replaced by Hitler’s picture hanging next to a Nazi flag. Our teacher, a very devout woman, stood up and told the class we wouldn’t pray or have religion anymore. Instead, we sang ‘Deutschland, Deutschland, Uber Alles,’ and had physical education.

“Sunday became National Youth Day with compulsory attendance. Parents were not pleased about the sudden change in curriculum. They were told that if they did not send us, they would receive a stiff letter of warning the first time. The second time they would be fined the equivalent of $300, and the third time they would be subject to jail.”

And then things got worse.

“The first two hours consisted of political indoctrination. The rest of the day we had sports. As time went along, we loved it. Oh, we had so much fun and got our sports equipment free.

“We would go home and gleefully tell our parents about the wonderful time we had.

“My mother was very unhappy,” remembers Kitty. “When the next term started, she took me out of public school and put me in a convent. I told her she couldn’t do that and she told me that someday when I grew up, I would be grateful. There was a very good curriculum, but hardly any fun – no sports, and no political indoctrination.

“I hated it at first but felt I could tolerate it. Every once in a while, on holidays, I went home. I would go back to my old friends and ask what was going on and what they were doing.

“Their loose lifestyle was very alarming to me. They lived without religion. By that time, unwed mothers were glorified for having a baby for Hitler.

“It seemed strange to me that our society changed so suddenly. As time went along, I realized what a great deed my mother did so that I wasn’t exposed to that kind of humanistic philosophy.

“In 1939, the war started, and a food bank was established. All food was rationed and could only be purchased using food stamps. At the same time, a full-employment law was passed which meant if you didn’t work, you didn’t get a ration card, and, if you didn’t have a card, you starved to death.

“Women who stayed home to raise their families didn’t have any marketable skills and often had to take jobs more suited for men.

“Soon after this, the draft was implemented.

“It was compulsory for young people, male and female, to give one year to the labor corps,” remembers Kitty. “During the day, the girls worked on the farms, and at night they returned to their barracks for military training just like the boys.

“They were trained to be anti-aircraft gunners and participated in the signal corps. After the labor corps, they were not discharged but were used in the front lines.

“When I go back to Austria to visit my family and friends, most of these women are emotional cripples because they just were not equipped to handle the horrors of combat.

“Three months before I turned 18, I was severely injured in an air raid attack. I nearly had a leg amputated, so I was spared having to go into the labor corps and into military service.

“When the mothers had to go out into the work force, the government immediately established child care centers.

“You could take your children ages four weeks old to school age and leave them there around-the-clock, seven days a week, under the total care of the government.

“The state raised a whole generation of children. There were no motherly women to take care of the children, just people highly trained in child psychology. By this time, no one talked about equal rights. We knew we had been had.

“Before Hitler, we had very good medical care. Many American doctors trained at the University of Vienna..

“After Hitler, health care was socialized, free for everyone. Doctors were salaried by the government. The problem was, since it was free, the people were going to the doctors for everything.

“When the good doctor arrived at his office at 8 a.m., 40 people were already waiting and, at the same time, the hospitals were full.

“If you needed elective surgery, you had to wait a year or two for your turn. There was no money for research as it was poured into socialized medicine. Research at the medical schools literally stopped, so the best doctors left Austria and emigrated to other countries.

“As for healthcare, our tax rates went up to 80 percent of our income. Newlyweds immediately received a $1,000 loan from the government to establish a household. We had big programs for families.

“All day care and education were free. High schools were taken over by the government and college tuition was subsidized. Everyone was entitled to free handouts, such as food stamps, clothing, and housing.

“We had another agency designed to monitor business. My brother-in-law owned a restaurant that had square tables.

“Government officials told him he had to replace them with round tables because people might bump themselves on the corners. Then they said he had to have additional bathroom facilities. It was just a small dairy business with a snack bar. He couldn’t meet all the demands.

“Soon, he went out of business. If the government owned the large businesses and not many small ones existed, it could be in control.

“We had consumer protection, too

“We were told how to shop and what to buy. Free enterprise was essentially abolished. We had a planning agency specially designed for farmers. The agents would go to the farms, count the livestock, and then tell the farmers what to produce, and how to produce it.

“In 1944, I was a student teacher in a small village in the Alps. The villagers were surrounded by mountain passes which, in the winter, were closed off with snow, causing people to be isolated.

“So people intermarried and offspring were sometimes retarded. When I arrived, I was told there were 15 mentally retarded adults, but they were all useful and did good manual work.

“I knew one, named Vincent, very well. He was a janitor of the school. One day I looked out the window and saw Vincent and others getting into a van.

“I asked my superior where they were going. She said to an institution where the State Health Department would teach them a trade, and to read and write. The families were required to sign papers with a little clause that they could not visit for 6 months.

“They were told visits would interfere with the program and might cause homesickness.

“As time passed, letters started to dribble back saying these people died a natural, merciful death. The villagers were not fooled. We suspected what was happening. Those people left in excellent physical health and all died within 6 months. We called this euthanasia.

“Next came gun registration. People were getting injured by guns. Hitler said that the real way to catch criminals (we still had a few) was by matching serial numbers on guns. Most citizens were law-abiding and dutifully marched to the police station to register their firearms. Not long afterwards, the police said that it was best for everyone to turn in their guns. The authorities already knew who had them, so it was futile not to comply voluntarily.

“No more freedom of speech. Anyone who said something against the government was taken away. We knew many people who were arrested, not only Jews, but also priests and ministers who spoke up.

“Totalitarianism didn’t come quickly, it took 5 years from 1938 until 1943, to realize full dictatorship in Austria. Had it happened overnight, my countrymen would have fought to the last breath. Instead, we had creeping gradualism. Now, our only weapons were broom handles. The whole idea sounds almost unbelievable that the state, little by little eroded our freedom.”

“This is my eyewitness account.

“It’s true. Those of us who sailed past the Statue of Liberty came to a country of unbelievable freedom and opportunity.

“America is truly is the greatest country in the world. “Don’t let freedom slip away.

“After America, there is no place to go.”

Kitty Werthmann
“I am a witness to history.

“I cannot tell you that Hitler took Austria by tanks and guns; it would distort history.

If you remember the plot of the Sound of ...Music, the Von Trapp family escaped over the Alps rather than submit to the Nazis. Kitty wasn’t so lucky. Her family chose to stay in her native Austria. She was 10 years old, but bright and aware. And she was watching.

“We elected him by a landslide – 98 percent of the vote,” she recalls.

She wasn’t old enough to vote in 1938 – approaching her 11th birthday. But she remembers.

“Everyone thinks that Hitler just rolled in with his tanks and took Austria by force.”

No so.

Hitler is welcomed to Austria

“In 1938, Austria was in deep Depression. Nearly one-third of our workforce was unemployed. We had 25 percent inflation and 25 percent bank loan interest rates.

Farmers and business people were declaring bankruptcy daily. Young people were going from house to house begging for food. Not that they didn’t want to work; there simply weren’t any jobs.

“My mother was a Christian woman and believed in helping people in need. Every day we cooked a big kettle of soup and baked bread to feed those poor, hungry people – about 30 daily.’

“We looked to our neighbor on the north, Germany, where Hitler had been in power since 1933.” she recalls. “We had been told that they didn’t have unemployment or crime, and they had a high standard of living.

“Nothing was ever said about persecution of any group – Jewish or otherwise. We were led to believe that everyone in Germany was happy. We wanted the same way of life in Austria. We were promised that a vote for Hitler would mean the end of unemployment and help for the family. Hitler also said that businesses would be assisted, and farmers would get their farms back.

“Ninety-eight percent of the population voted to annex Austria to Germany and have Hitler for our ruler.

“We were overjoyed,” remembers Kitty, “and for three days we danced in the streets and had candlelight parades. The new government opened up big field kitchens and
everyone was fed.

“After the election, German officials were appointed, and, like a miracle, we suddenly had law and order. Three or four weeks later, everyone was employed. The government made sure that a lot of work was created through the Public Work Service.

“Hitler decided we should have equal rights for women. Before this, it was a custom that married Austrian women did not work outside the home. An able-bodied husband would be looked down on if he couldn’t support his family. Many women in the teaching profession were elated that they could retain the jobs they previously had been re- quired to give up for marriage.

“Then we lost religious education for kids

“Our education was nationalized. I attended a very good public school.. The population was predominantly Catholic, so we had religion in our schools. The day we elected Hitler (March 13, 1938), I walked into my schoolroom to find the crucifix replaced by Hitler’s picture hanging next to a Nazi flag. Our teacher, a very devout woman, stood up and told the class we wouldn’t pray or have religion anymore. Instead, we sang ‘Deutschland, Deutschland, Uber Alles,’ and had physical education.

“Sunday became National Youth Day with compulsory attendance. Parents were not pleased about the sudden change in curriculum. They were told that if they did not send us, they would receive a stiff letter of warning the first time. The second time they would be fined the equivalent of $300, and the third time they would be subject to jail.”

And then things got worse.

“The first two hours consisted of political indoctrination. The rest of the day we had sports. As time went along, we loved it. Oh, we had so much fun and got our sports equipment free.

“We would go home and gleefully tell our parents about the wonderful time we had.

“My mother was very unhappy,” remembers Kitty. “When the next term started, she took me out of public school and put me in a convent. I told her she couldn’t do that and she told me that someday when I grew up, I would be grateful. There was a very good curriculum, but hardly any fun – no sports, and no political indoctrination.

“I hated it at first but felt I could tolerate it. Every once in a while, on holidays, I went home. I would go back to my old friends and ask what was going on and what they were doing.

“Their loose lifestyle was very alarming to me. They lived without religion. By that time, unwed mothers were glorified for having a baby for Hitler.

“It seemed strange to me that our society changed so suddenly. As time went along, I realized what a great deed my mother did so that I wasn’t exposed to that kind of humanistic philosophy.

“In 1939, the war started, and a food bank was established. All food was rationed and could only be purchased using food stamps. At the same time, a full-employment law was passed which meant if you didn’t work, you didn’t get a ration card, and, if you didn’t have a card, you starved to death.

“Women who stayed home to raise their families didn’t have any marketable skills and often had to take jobs more suited for men.

“Soon after this, the draft was implemented.

“It was compulsory for young people, male and female, to give one year to the labor corps,” remembers Kitty. “During the day, the girls worked on the farms, and at night they returned to their barracks for military training just like the boys.

“They were trained to be anti-aircraft gunners and participated in the signal corps. After the labor corps, they were not discharged but were used in the front lines.

“When I go back to Austria to visit my family and friends, most of these women are emotional cripples because they just were not equipped to handle the horrors of combat.

“Three months before I turned 18, I was severely injured in an air raid attack. I nearly had a leg amputated, so I was spared having to go into the labor corps and into military service.

“When the mothers had to go out into the work force, the government immediately established child care centers.

“You could take your children ages four weeks old to school age and leave them there around-the-clock, seven days a week, under the total care of the government.

“The state raised a whole generation of children. There were no motherly women to take care of the children, just people highly trained in child psychology. By this time, no one talked about equal rights. We knew we had been had.

“Before Hitler, we had very good medical care. Many American doctors trained at the University of Vienna..

“After Hitler, health care was socialized, free for everyone. Doctors were salaried by the government. The problem was, since it was free, the people were going to the doctors for everything.

“When the good doctor arrived at his office at 8 a.m., 40 people were already waiting and, at the same time, the hospitals were full.

“If you needed elective surgery, you had to wait a year or two for your turn. There was no money for research as it was poured into socialized medicine. Research at the medical schools literally stopped, so the best doctors left Austria and emigrated to other countries.

“As for healthcare, our tax rates went up to 80 percent of our income. Newlyweds immediately received a $1,000 loan from the government to establish a household. We had big programs for families.

“All day care and education were free. High schools were taken over by the government and college tuition was subsidized. Everyone was entitled to free handouts, such as food stamps, clothing, and housing.

“We had another agency designed to monitor business. My brother-in-law owned a restaurant that had square tables.

“Government officials told him he had to replace them with round tables because people might bump themselves on the corners. Then they said he had to have additional bathroom facilities. It was just a small dairy business with a snack bar. He couldn’t meet all the demands.

“Soon, he went out of business. If the government owned the large businesses and not many small ones existed, it could be in control.

“We had consumer protection, too

“We were told how to shop and what to buy. Free enterprise was essentially abolished. We had a planning agency specially designed for farmers. The agents would go to the farms, count the livestock, and then tell the farmers what to produce, and how to produce it.

“In 1944, I was a student teacher in a small village in the Alps. The villagers were surrounded by mountain passes which, in the winter, were closed off with snow, causing people to be isolated.

“So people intermarried and offspring were sometimes retarded. When I arrived, I was told there were 15 mentally retarded adults, but they were all useful and did good manual work.

“I knew one, named Vincent, very well. He was a janitor of the school. One day I looked out the window and saw Vincent and others getting into a van.

“I asked my superior where they were going. She said to an institution where the State Health Department would teach them a trade, and to read and write. The families were required to sign papers with a little clause that they could not visit for 6 months.

“They were told visits would interfere with the program and might cause homesickness.

“As time passed, letters started to dribble back saying these people died a natural, merciful death. The villagers were not fooled. We suspected what was happening. Those people left in excellent physical health and all died within 6 months. We called this euthanasia.

“Next came gun registration. People were getting injured by guns. Hitler said that the real way to catch criminals (we still had a few) was by matching serial numbers on guns. Most citizens were law-abiding and dutifully marched to the police station to register their firearms. Not long afterwards, the police said that it was best for everyone to turn in their guns. The authorities already knew who had them, so it was futile not to comply voluntarily.

“No more freedom of speech. Anyone who said something against the government was taken away. We knew many people who were arrested, not only Jews, but also priests and ministers who spoke up.

“Totalitarianism didn’t come quickly, it took 5 years from 1938 until 1943, to realize full dictatorship in Austria. Had it happened overnight, my countrymen would have fought to the last breath. Instead, we had creeping gradualism. Now, our only weapons were broom handles. The whole idea sounds almost unbelievable that the state, little by little eroded our freedom.”

“This is my eyewitness account.

“It’s true. Those of us who sailed past the Statue of Liberty came to a country of unbelievable freedom and opportunity.

“America is truly is the greatest country in the world. “Don’t let freedom slip away.

“After America, there is no place to go.”

Kitty Werthmann
 
 
So very powerful. I think that as Americans we are fooled by the Hilter/Nazi situation. I think that we believe the people under his control were crazy and naive for letting him come into power and that it happened overnight. We do not understand that it was a process. A process of grooming like sexual predators do to their victims. They were groomed and look what happened. I hope we can see that our county might also be in a state of being groomed by someone with long term plans similar to Hitler.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Is My Baby OK?

That is all I seem to ask myself all day long every day.  Is he/she still alive? 
 
What a weird thing to think.  But maybe it's not.  For me it isn't weird after what happened last time.  I don't think that every other pregnant woman thinks like this. 

I do somewhat remember almost 10 years ago being somewhat concerned that Kassidy wasn't always perfect in there, but nothing like I do now.  No one and really I mean no one did I know had lost a baby.
 
Now, I know that my grandma had an eptopic pregnancy and one of my aunts lost a baby (and since my daughter I learned a cousin lost a baby), but that's it.  The major woman in my life that I saw during pregnancy, being my mom and other aunts, had never experienced anything like that so I thought it was not very common.  Yet another reason why I think it is sooo important for us to be open about all of this because when we are not and women have bad experiences they are left shocked.
 
Our baby is doing great!  We had the high risk sono a couple weeks ago and he/she had only .11 mm (I guess the measurement) of fluid on the back of the neck and the healthy range is 0 to .2 so that was awesome!!
 
Still I do not think that I will be relieved until our next high risk sono in about 3 weeks at the 17 week mark and everything shows up normal and healthy.
 
I just have to continue (a million times a day) to hand this baby over to God and beg Him to let me keep him/her and allow him/her to be healthy, strong and with a heart that will seek God before everything.  That is my prayer.
 
 
Do you worry with every pregnancy?