Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Home Study: Check!


I have not blogged or done much (besides take a little beach trip) for the last couple weeks.  I have been doing things to get ready for our home study. 

For me, that meant organizing my whole entire house, which I have never done in my life.  Really.  I haven't.  Not because I have never wanted to, but because I am no organizer organizing my house does not come naturally to me. So now my house is about 95% organized and clean, which is amazing!  Absolutely amazing! 

The way I organize is to take everything out.  Right?  Is there another way to do it besides having everything out in the middle of the house and in piles until you find somewhere to put those piles?  Let me know if you know another way! 

Our home study was Tues at 2pm.  Needless to say, I was up all night Monday and did get a couple hour nap in Tuesday morning because I was up working on things all night. 

And my piles: A couple of them ended up in big black garbage bags in the attic :(  So sad.  Soon I will have to finish up my last 5% of organization! 

The home study:  I was praying that this would happen- she literally took a maybe 4 minute tour of my house and I was the one encouraging her to look around.  Yes, my house is small, but still.  I was really hoping that I would be way more prepared than I needed to be.  And I totally was. 

Here's what I was expecting or rather having a nightmare about:  (opening of a kitchen drawer) "Why would you put this in here with this?"  "What was your thinking behind arranging things like this?"  Yes, you may laugh, but to me this was serious stuff.

Why so serious?  Because this home study was the biggest judgement on me and my family that I have ever had.  Someone was going to walk into my house and "study" us and tell us, basically, if we were considered "fit" to parent children.  Well, I am not sure if it would have felt so judgemental if we did not already have children.  Since we do, it felt like someone would also be agreeing that we are doing an acceptable job parenting or that we were unnacceptable parents, who were bringing our baggage on our daughter and damaging her.  Yes, again, I was probably thinking this and taking it too far, but for me the judgement was huge.

It's over!  All done!!  Our caseworker was awesome and hopefully I won't have to see her at my house again until we have some kiddos that she is checking in on!

And now life can go on!!  In a clean and almost completely organized house!

Summer is definitely here :( and I am going to cherish my time with my daughter for the next few weeks.  It's hit me that in a couple months I will probably never have only 1 child again.  For us all this is pretty darn exciting, but I want to enjoy my alone time with my girl until then!

What are you summer plans this week? 

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