Sunday, September 16, 2012

What Are We Getting Ourselves Into??

Crazy, right?! 
And now a little over a year later, we have decided to give it a try again! 
I'm really nervous.  Really Nervous!
Because as much as I tell myself to keep my heart protected, I don't.  I never do and probably can't.  I'm just not made that way. 
So, I am trying very, very, very hard to trust God... all of the time, with all things!
Including fostering to adopt. 
There are a few things that might hold us back:
1) We have a pool and will not get a fence (besides our regular wooden fence) around it.  We don't have the money for a fence and the way our yard is it would be really awkward and really just plain ugly (and that matters because we want to sell in 4-5 years).
2) We lost our baby a few months ago and usually there is a waiting period of a year for major life events and listed was the loss of a pregnancy.  I am hoping that this will not exclude us.  Of course, it was a major life event for us, but we made decisions to foster before we and now after that. 
3) The above mentioned incident.  I really cannot state enough that our dog did not bite our caseworker.  It was such a lie that devastated our family (and our foster daughter) like crazy.  I'm disappointed in the agency and my heart breaks that the situation was handled so unprofessionally by all parties.  But... I do not know if the new agency will accept our defense, even though there was no proof or offense ever given.  We were and are "guilty" with no evidence.  We cannot get rid of our dog.  He is 13 years old and did nothing wrong.  I would never own a dog who bit someone.  Ok... enough about defending him!!  I'm nervous that the new agency will contact our old agency and find out what happened and I don't see them being ok with the whole situation. 
So, I am leaving it up to God.  The door was slammed so hard in our face the first time and I had felt sooo right with that agency.  We are trying to find a window or new door that God has opened and if it gets slammed in our faces again, we will take that as a no. 
I am thinking about applying for 3 different agencies and telling them upfront that we worked with another agency before and there was an issue and we are no longer working with them.  I've told the first agency already, but haven't gone into details.  It's really hard to not seem like a trouble making family when we first have to defend ourselves about something right away. 
But I know that God can do anything and will if this is part of His plan for us!  The process is so long and tedious and tiresome because of the waiting and waiting and waiting.  We will not tell Kassidy until we are doing the classes or maybe not until right before the homestudy. 
Please pray for us.  We would love for this to be something for our family, but if it's not right pray that we will know soon- before we invest much time, money and heart into it.  Thanks!
Do you have any advice, wisdom, insights as to how and what to say about our incident?

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