Saturday, May 7, 2011

Only When You Become a Mother

I think there are many questions that get answered and many new unanswered questions we have once we become mothers.  My mothering style is nothing like my moms.  She couldn't wait to get back to work after she had me.  She never even considered staying home with any of her kids.  She would have never considered homeschooling.  We are pretty much polar opposites in so many ways, but in others I am her exact duplicate. 

The differences (and similarities) sometimes causes friction between us and I, honestly, do not think she will ever fully understand or agree with all of my mothering choices or life choices in general and vice versa.  But there was something magical that happened when I became a mom.  Maybe not right when I became a mom, probably because I was so young.  But... there is something magical about becoming a mom... not just because of the obvious relationship with your child but also because of the not so obvious relationship with your mom and other moms.   Sometimes it brings more questions as to why and how you could have been raised the way you were, but that's something we all have to come to peace and forgiveness with.  Sometimes becoming a mother yourself means you finally (!) kind of "get it". 

You understand the love.  You understand the doubt.  You understand the guilt.  You understand the worry.  You understand the pride.  You understand the joy.  You understand the busyness.  You understand the frustrations.  You understand the excitement.  You understand it all like no one else will ever be able to.  We all join this motherhood together and no one can understand those feelings the same way we do.  And when you can feel those things with your mom it is extremely magical even if it is just a silent understood connection.        

When we look at other mothers in their times of joy, frustration, pride, doubt, fear, guilt, worry, don't we all understand to some extent those same feelings?  It's incredible how God gave us all that connection.  He gave it to us, I believe, to bond us and for us to encourage eachother.  What better and more valuable encouragement could there be from any other mom but your own?  Our moms also need to know how much we value that enouragement from them.  They need to feel like they are still needed, valued and loved.  After all, don't we want to feel that way once our daughters become mothers?

Happy Mother's Day!!

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