Friday, August 31, 2012

One Thing My Husband Got Out Of Church

We went to church on Sunday for the first time in a long time. 
It was great.  And of course I want to jump right into that church but I am trying to dip a pinky toe barely in because we still have 6+ more to check out!
Anyways....  I don't really remember what exactly the pastor said when he started with a prayer-something about asking for forgiveness or forgiving (like always).  All of a sudden, deep inside and I felt the Holy Spirit lead me to the idea that I often make Mike practically beg for forgiveness. 
I forgive quickly.  It's always been a gift, I guess.  I don't really hold grudges, although I will end relationships that continue needing serious forgiveness.  You apologize and it's over.  You don't apologize and I still "understand" that you are human and meant to and it's over.  haha!
But... sometimes I want to know that Mike is so truly sorry for something and it's usually not all that important.  We get along 99.9% of the time, but when he has hurt my feelings I want an apology.  I hate, hate, hate, hate insincere apologies, actually all insincerity.  So for some reason until I feel like Mike is truly sorry, has learned his lesson and won't do it again, I don't let it go.  I don't forgive.  I won't drop it! 
You know the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman?  He also has set up The 5 Languages of Apology.  (You can take the quiz here!)  Btw, I am mostly A Words of Affirmation girl... no surprise with this story, right?  My Language of Apology is a tie between Expressing Regret and Requesting Forgiveness.  The two things I want my husband to do and he doesn't really do them willingly or easily so I nag and pout and drag things out until he says every single thing to make me get over it.  And then I'm fine. 
So ridiculous!
I felt, on Sunday, that I should knock it off and I saw myself before God with Him doing the same thing I do to Mike!  Wow!  I am such a sinner... an awful sinner and so undeserving of God's grace and how dare I not forgive anyone right away, especially my husband.  It is so easy, like I said, to forgive others, but the ones closest to me, especially my husband, take a little more effort.  Maybe because I expect more from him?  For whatever reason, I want God to expect lots from me and I want to fulfill so many of those expectations, of course, I won't even come close to being good enough, but I want forgiveness when I don't come close, as Mike doesn't always come close either.  I can start forgiving my husband right away the way I want God to forgive me!
I think it is super important to know one another's languages.  They are soo helpful!
Do you and your husband share the same languages?  Have you ever taken the Apology quiz? 

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