We went to church on Sunday for the first time in a long time.
It was great. And of course I want to jump right into that church but I am trying to dip a pinky toe barely in because we still have 6+ more to check out!
Anyways.... I don't really remember what exactly the pastor said when he started with a prayer-something about asking for forgiveness or forgiving (like always). All of a sudden, deep inside and I felt the Holy Spirit lead me to the idea that I often make Mike practically beg for forgiveness.
I forgive quickly. It's always been a gift, I guess. I don't really hold grudges, although I will end relationships that continue needing serious forgiveness. You apologize and it's over. You don't apologize and I still "understand" that you are human and meant to and it's over. haha!
But... sometimes I want to know that Mike is so truly sorry for something and it's usually not all that important. We get along 99.9% of the time, but when he has hurt my feelings I want an apology. I hate, hate, hate, hate insincere apologies, actually all insincerity. So for some reason until I feel like Mike is truly sorry, has learned his lesson and won't do it again, I don't let it go. I don't forgive. I won't drop it!
You know the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman? He also has set up The 5 Languages of Apology. (You can take the quiz here!) Btw, I am mostly A Words of Affirmation girl... no surprise with this story, right? My Language of Apology is a tie between Expressing Regret and Requesting Forgiveness. The two things I want my husband to do and he doesn't really do them willingly or easily so I nag and pout and drag things out until he says every single thing to make me get over it. And then I'm fine.
I felt, on Sunday, that I should knock it off and I saw myself before God with Him doing the same thing I do to Mike! Wow! I am such a sinner... an awful sinner and so undeserving of God's grace and how dare I not forgive anyone right away, especially my husband. It is so easy, like I said, to forgive others, but the ones closest to me, especially my husband, take a little more effort. Maybe because I expect more from him? For whatever reason, I want God to expect lots from me and I want to fulfill so many of those expectations, of course, I won't even come close to being good enough, but I want forgiveness when I don't come close, as Mike doesn't always come close either. I can start forgiving my husband right away the way I want God to forgive me!
I think it is super important to know one another's languages. They are soo helpful!
Do you and your husband share the same languages? Have you ever taken the Apology quiz?